Let Me Run the Numbers

So David said to Joab and the commanders of the army, “Go, number Israel, from Beersheba to Dan, and bring me a report, that I may know their number.” 1 Chronicles 21:2

Twenty years ago, when struggling with an opioid addiction, I felt God telling me I needed to get help and go to treatment. I did some quick math in my head and realized that going to treatment simply wasn’t possible while working a full-time job. I can’t go to treatment. I don’t have the time. I relied on my own estimates and my own numbers to make the decision, instead of simply following God’s command.

Years later, when I felt God pushing me towards a job taking care of the addicted and incarcerated, I realized I’d take a pay cut. My wife and I ran the numbers, and it didn’t look like God’s plan was financially very viable. That Sunday in church though, our pastor gave a sermon about saying no to God because of finances. We were both convicted and I took the job, which turned out to be an amazing experience. We were, of course, fine financially.

Let me run the numbers. This seems to be David’s sin in today’s passage. In the story, up to this point, David had led Israel’s armies, not knowing how many soldiers he had. When God said go, David didn’t compare his number to the enemy number to see if he had the upper hand. He simply followed God and God came through every time. Now though, David wanted to know how big his army was. David’s pride led to self-reliance which turned him from God’s will. As a direct result of David’s sin, he lost 70,000 men. It was as if God asked – How do you like those numbers?

When God prompts me to do something, I often run the numbers, counting the cost of obedience. Sure God, I know you want me to help that person, but that will take a lot of my time and energy. I rely on my own estimation of what is good for me, and I’m tempted to say no to God. I just don’t have the time. Send someone else. Through some painful experiences though, I am learning that the price of disobedience is far worse than simply saying yes to God. I still don’t get it right every time, but I am learning that saying no to God leads to misery. Then, when I do eventually say yes, I find that the misery is the only thing that I’ve lost.