I have lived two lives.
In one life, I was a successful ER physician, husband, father, and pretty good guy (as far as most people knew). I grew up in a Christian home and have believed in God as long as I remember. My faith has had some authentic effect on the way I lived. That was my life as seen in the light.
There was a dark side though. I was a Christian but I wrestled with a very destructive flesh nature. Everyone has their own defects and struggles. Mine was with addiction to prescription pain medications. I had a life which I wanted everyone to see and a life that I was desperate to keep hidden.
Then, one day in 2014, my flesh nature was painfully exposed in the light for all to see. Life came crashing down in catastrophic fashion. I had sown the seeds of the flesh and had produced a crop of destruction that was now raining down on my wife and children. Life came apart. My marriage and career were in jeopardy (rightfully so). I left my job and went to treatment.
I remember well, reading the words of Paul,
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life (Galatians 6:7,8).
Sick of the corruption and chaos I had sown, I became desperate to know life and peace. So, I went to treatment and started sowing the seeds of the Spirit. God keeps his promises. When I draw near to Him, He draws near to me. In following God, life springs where death once bloomed.
God has been gracious. He has allowed me to sow a new seed and reap a new life. I have my family. I have my career. Most importantly, I have a renewed relationship with my creator. Now, I daily continue to sow the seeds of the Spirit that I may continue to pursue recovery, life, and joy.