For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15
We all struggle with something. We can all identify with Paul in that thing that we don’t want to do, but for some reason, we keep doing it. Despite painful consequences, we indulge in gluttony, anger, pornography, alcohol, greed, gambling or even compulsive shopping. We all have self-destructive behaviors that cause us some misery. That’s the nature of addiction.
In my own drug addiction, I prayed a thousand times for God to simply remove it. Take away the appetite and I will change my behavior. I had it backwards though. In my case, God asked me to obey, changing my behavior, and then I got the miracle of a changed appetite. In my addiction, I learned that faith isn’t simply me believing in God and asking him to do all the work. Faith is living out my belief in God. God opened the door to my prison and asked that I follow him to freedom.
Daily, this starts with simply reading my Bible, praying, meditating and journaling. In 2016, my journaling transitioned into this blog. By no means do I have faith and recovery completely figured out. I’m not cured and I’m not perfect. The life of a disciple is one of continual transformation. If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23).
So, here in this blog, I chronicle my own daily journey of faith. Through faith, I can know peace, joy, and recovery, even in the struggle. We all have our own struggles but by God’s grace, we don’t need to live enslaved to them.