Would You Help Me Hide the Evidence?

And Jonathan told David, “Saul my father seeks to kill you. Therefore be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a secret place and hide yourself.” 1 Samuel 19:2

My wife and I watched one of those real crime documentaries a while back, in which the parents of the murderer conspired with their son to get away with it. We’ll help you hide the body. It was a terrible story, but in watching I had to ask the question. What would I do to protect my loved ones?

I’d like to think that I’d never aid in a criminal coverup, and I’d like to think that I’d never ask anyone to cover up a crime for me. Except that I have. When my diversion of opioids was discovered, I tried to convince friends to lie for me. Tell them it was for you. You won’t get in trouble. I appealed to our friendship. If you’re really my friend, you’d help. I was a terrible friend. Fortunately, my friends wisely refused my request and insisted that I get the help that I obviously needed. They were true friends, loving me enough to do the hard thing for my own good.

This is the kind of love that King Saul’s son, Jonathan, displayed in today’s passage to both David and his father. Jonathan and David had become like brothers, so when Saul sought to kill David and attempted to enlist Jonathan’s aid, Jonathan was conflicted, loving both his father and his friend. Nobly, he warned David, saving him. Then, instead of aiding his father’s crime, he stood up to him. Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you (1 Samuel 19:4). Jonathan displayed authentic love by protecting his friend from his father and by protecting his father from himself. Though it had to create friction between Jonathan and Saul, Jonathan did the right thing, modeling authentic love.

In my selfishness, I tried to use my friends to get them to do what I wanted. I distorted love, attempting to use it to manipulate others for my purpose. This wasn’t love of others though, but rather was love of self. Authentic love seeks the good of the other, even if that isn’t what they think they want. Real love does the hard thing, even when it requires sacrifice to self. In recovery now, this is what I need from my friends and it’s what they need from me. I don’t need friends to cover for me. I need friends to travel along the road of faith and recovery with me, dragging me back to the road when I need it. And I must do the same for them.