Confrontation and Intervention

“Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?” And Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan. 1 Samuel 19:5-6

When my addiction and opioid diversion came to light, there were those unfortunate souls who were tasked with the terrible job of confronting me. Looking back, I feel bad for them. That had to have been a miserable job. That meeting was, by far, the most uncomfortable of my life. None of us wanted to be there but it had to be done. To have avoided the confrontation – to have swept it under the rug – would have made them complicit in my terrible behavior. They couldn’t make me sober, but they were responsible for establishing painful boundaries and employing consequences. Once they became aware of my addiction, they had no choice but to intervene, confronting me.

Sometimes, it’s our responsibility to confront others. That’s the lesson of today’s passage, in which Jonathan confronted his father, King Saul. Saul was insanely jealous of David’s success and set out to kill him, attempting to enlist Jonathan in his efforts. Jonathan loved David like a brother though, and so, even though Saul was his king and his father, the son confronted the father. Let not the king sin against his servant David, because he has not sinned against you (1 Samuel 19:4). Driven insane with resentment, Saul embraced the darkness, and it was up to Jonathan to shine a light on it. Jonathan appealed to reason, their relationship, Saul’s faith, and justice, all to make Saul see his irrationality. And Saul listened.

I don’t like confronting others, and I certainly don’t like being confronted. Conflict is painful for everyone involved and so, most of us try to avoid it. There are those times though, when it becomes wrong not to intervene. When I see a loved one hurting themselves or others, it may be my moral responsibility to do something. At work, when I witness destructive behavior that hurts my team, I may have to confront. This is uncomfortable, but that discomfort is a tool, which I must sometimes employ to try to effect change. I may not fix the destructive behavior, but doing nothing makes me complicit in it.

In my own addiction, it was the pain of confrontation that prodded me into doing something about it. As long as I could pretend that my behavior affected no one else, I was going to continue doing it. So, a painful light had to be shown in my darkness. Yes, it hurt, but it was absolutely necessary.

Sometimes, it’s my responsibility to confront and intervene, no matter how uncomfortable that may be.