When I Played Hockey

He said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have repaid me good, whereas I have repaid you evil.” 1 Samuel 24:17

In college, one Minnesota winter, all my friends would get together every day after class and go play hockey on one of the many nearby ice rinks. I knew nothing about hockey, I didn’t know how to skate, and I didn’t own ice skates. But, if I wanted to spend time with my friends, I needed to learn. So, I went out a bought a cheap pair of used skates and joined my friends. I was terrible, falling more than anything, but I had a lot of fun and I gained a new experience. On my own, I never would have played hockey. Under the influence of those around me though, I played – or at least I tried.

I often write that I cannot change others. I can’t have faith for anyone else, and I can’t recover for them. In working with those who’re addicted, I must recognize this, or I’ll be crushed under the weight of that responsibility. I am not responsible for the actions of others. Everyone is responsible for themselves. This, however, doesn’t meant that I have zero influence. My words and actions do have some effect on those around me and their words and actions have some influence on me. Back when I used to drink, if I was around drinking friends, I would indulge. If I was around those who didn’t drink, I abstained. In turn, if I could encourage someone else to drink with me, I would do so.

Our behavior, for better or worse, has some impact – sometimes a profound one – on those around us. This is the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, as King Saul continued his hunt for David, the tables were turned, and David had a chance to kill Saul. Refusing to engage in evil, David refrained from vengeance. When Saul recognized David’s mercy, he was devastated by it. In that moment, Saul’s mind cleared as he understood that he was the villain and David was the hero. Humbled by David’s godliness, which shone a light on his wickedness, Saul acknowledged David as king. David could have taken the situation into his own hands, killing Saul, but instead, he followed God, who used David’s faithfulness to impact Saul.

Whether I like it or not, my words and actions influence others and their words and actions influence me. How then will I use my influence? Once, I encouraged others to drink so I could feel better about my drinking. Now, in recovery, I recognize that I don’t want that to be my legacy. Rather, I’d like to be able to look back at my life and realize that I used my influence for God. I may not be responsible for another’s faith or recovery, but I am responsible for my own actions – which certainly can influence the faith and recovery of those around me.