What’s Her Love Language?

When she rose to glean, Boaz instructed his young men, saying, “Let her glean even among the sheaves, and do not reproach her. And also pull out some from the bundles for her and leave it for her to glean, and do not rebuke her.” Ruth 2:15-16

The other day, my wife asked me if I’d help her hang up a towel rack in our bathroom. I was occupied at the time, but I said that I would be happy to help later. Later came and went and I forgot about it. The next day, I realized that, being very capable, she hung it herself. I kicked myself. I know that one of my wife’s love languages is domestic support, and I’d just missed an opportunity to communicate my love to her.

Compare this to when we were dating. Back then, I was desperate to communicate my love and would have instantly dropped everything to do anything she asked. Back then, every weekend that I could, I drove 400 miles across South Dakota, just to spend a day with her. I know that that the infatuation phase can’t last, but I still love my wife and so, I should regularly and purposefully meet her needs, thereby communicating love to her in a language that she understands.

This is the behavior modeled by Boaz in today’s passage. In the story, a young widow named Ruth was desperate for food and scavenged the local fields of grain, after the reapers had done their harvesting. Boaz, the owner of the field, noticed Ruth and took pity on her. Instructing his reapers to leave a little extra, he met Ruth’s needs without treating her like a beggar. The two eventually married, but this was the point at which Ruth realized that this was the kind of man who would recognize her needs and provide for her.

I should strive to be like Boaz. Not just when we were dating. But now, every day. I know that one of my wife’s love languages is domestic support, so daily, I should look for opportunities to speak her language. The problem is that domestic support isn’t my love language, so I’m not fluent in it. This then, is something I must consciously choose to do. It’s my nature, when I have a day off, to do whatever I want. Few things though, communicate love to my wife like scrubbing a toilet or cleaning up the kitchen. So, on my days off, when I’m at my best, I try to take a significant amount of time to help with her projects. When presented with something like the towel rack, I must see it as an opportunity to communicate love in a language that my wife understands.