When God Doesn’t Answer My Prayers

I went away full, and the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the LORD has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me? Ruth 1:21

Every morning, I spend the first half-hour of my day praying for a long list of people whom I know to be going through life’s trials. I was just informed recently that one of the individuals on my list had succumbed to the illness for which I’d been praying. I wasn’t surprised – I knew it was a terminal illness – but I was saddened. I was tempted to ask – Why pray at all? But I know that’s not fair. I know that everyone on my list is going to die eventually. Still, when I go to God in prayer, I have some hope or expectation that he would manifest my will. When he doesn’t give me what I want, I’m tempted to abandon my prayers.

To make this even more personal, when I prayed that God take away my addiction, and he didn’t do it exactly as I wanted, I doubted his existence. Looking back, I can now see that my faith was focused on a deity whom I believed in as long as he provided the life I wanted. Up to that point, my life had gone pretty well, so I believed. When, however, things didn’t go my way and I struggled greatly, I grew to doubt his existence. I had faith only as long as God did what I wanted.

Today’s passage, however, contrasts my self-centered faith with a God-centered faith. In the story, Naomi lost her husband and two sons. Even though she attributed her calamity to God, she didn’t stop believing in or following him. Later, when Naomi’s situation improved and she was blessed, she attributed the blessing to God as well. Whether life presented trials or blessings, Naomi followed God because she knew God existed whether her life went as planned or not. And what choice did she have? Abandoning her faith wouldn’t have helped. God still existed whether she believed or not.

That’s where I found myself in my addiction when God didn’t miraculously remove it as I demanded. Yes, I doubted God and was tempted to abandon him, but what choice did I have? I’d already gone my way and knew the disaster that lay in that direction. If I had any chance of turning my life around, I needed God. In following him, I began to learn that faith didn’t mean believing in a God who followed my will. Rather, faith meant me following God’s will above all – even when that means I don’t get exactly what I think I want.