When God Wants Me to Sin
God has given him into my hand . . .I Samuel 23:7
When I want something badly enough, but my conscience says no, I must either choose not to do the thing or I must manipulate it, selling it to my conscience. In the case of my drug use, it was not that hard. I need to be able to sleep, don’t I? I work hard, and I do good things. I deserve it.
This is similar to the addict in recovery who goes back to the old friends, insisting that he can be a good influence on them. This is like the infatuated young man, who wants a woman so badly that he convinces himself it’s God’s will. God told me I’m supposed to marry you.
Saul did this in today’s passage. Though his motives were purely evil – jealousy and hatred – he convinced himself that it was God that wanted David dead. God wants me to kill David or He would not have given me this opportunity, right?
Maybe it hasn’t involved murder, but most of us have done this. We want something badly enough that we convince ourselves that God must want it too. The beauty of this kind of thinking, is that when everything falls apart, we can blame God for the consequences. If it was wrong, why did you let me do it? This isn’t my fault! You made me this way!
The problem of course, is recognizing the faulty thinking while it’s happening. By definition, twisted thoughts make reasoning difficult. In this same passage, I can look to David to learn that I must interrogate my thoughts and honestly ask God’s will. When he felt compelled to defend those being attacked by the Philistines, David’s response was to sincerely seek God’s will (I Samuel 23:2).
God never asks me to sin for Him. I can paint as many layers of God on me as I want, but if underneath, I am still serving myself, my actions and thoughts will betray my façade. Like David, I must interrogate every motive I have, going to God, asking Him what His will is. Then, I must be willing to do whatever it takes to obey.