When I Get a Little Cocky

If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel. Deuteronomy 22:22

Years ago, in jest, I told some coworkers that if they ever wanted to feel better about themselves, they simply needed to stand next to someone shorter, less successful, or less attractive. It’s all about who you compare yourself to. It didn’t take long for that to blow back on me. A short while later, I was sitting at my desk when I felt the presence of two people standing close behind me. I spun around to discover those same coworkers – We’re making ourselves feel better by standing next to you. I deserved that.

It is tempting to console myself by comparing myself to those around me. If I’m not careful, I can even become quite impressed with myself. I work in jail and addiction medicine, so I regularly meet with those whose lives are a disaster by any standard. Compared to them, I’ve got the world by its proverbial tail. I’m sober. I’ve got a family, a job, and a house. I’m quite a big deal. God is lucky to have me. In this state of mind, my pride swells and I no longer see my need for change. I no longer see my need for God. This is a dangerous place for me. When I stop needing God, I return to following myself, which is the road to self-destruction.

Today’s passage is one of those that humbles me, reminding me that any sin is a big deal to God. In it, God prescribed the death penalty for anyone caught in an adulterous relationship. Now adultery is a big sin, but Jesus later said that anyone who simply lusts in his own mind is guilty of adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). According to Jesus’ standard, pornography and lust are deeply offensive to God. We may not stone adulterers to death anymore, but we shouldn’t make the mistake of dismissing our sin just because Jesus died for it. When we engage in any sin, even if it’s alone in the dark, it’s a big deal to God.

In jail, next to the guy whose life is a disaster, I may be tempted to think quite highly of myself. I’m quite an amazing Christian. Jesus’ words, however, remind me that I’m regularly guilty of sins for which God once prescribed capital punishment. This isn’t just about sex or lust. Jesus also equated my resentment and anger with murder (Matthew 5:21-22). What I do in my mind matters as it can point me towards myself or towards God. Anything that turns me from God is sinful and self-destructive, and thus, a big deal to God. Seen in this light, I’m no better than that anyone else. I’m still terribly flawed and though I may not be sitting in jail, I still need God every day.