When I Thought I Got Away with It

And they also killed Balaam the son of Beor with the sword. Numbers 31:8

The first time I diverted opioids for my own use, I was terrified of the consequences. I was sure that I’d get caught as I laid awake at night, worrying about it. When a week went by and nothing happened, I found myself elated with relief. Whew! I got away with it. That should have been the time when I realized what misery I’d caused myself and how close I’d come to disaster. In holy fear, I should have repented and never done it again. Instead, I was emboldened. If I got away with it once, I could do it again. The second time, I worried, but not as much as the first. After three or four times, I came to believe that I was immune. No one found out and God didn’t punish me, so I might as well continue. As you know, I didn’t get away with it. Others did find out. There were terrible consequences. In the calamitous aftermath, I wished that I’d never done it, but my opportunity for repentance had come and gone. It was time to pay the consequences.

You’re not really getting away with anything. That’s the lesson of today’s passage, which records the death of Balaam. If you remember, Balaam was a sort-of prophet hired by Balak, king of Midian, to curse the Israelites. Balaam, in fear of God, repeatedly refused to curse the Israelites, but in the end, he did teach Balak how to turn them from God with sexual temptation. Balaam apparently moved to and remained in Midian, enjoying his rewards for helping Balak. He likely thought he’d gotten away with his treachery. God has forgotten. God had not forgotten though. He’d just waited. This was the time during which Balaam should have repented, leaving Midian. Eventually, God got back to Balaam as he sent the Israelites to attack Midian, killing Balaam in the process. As his death approached, I bet Balaam wished he’d have never come to Midian, but the opportunity for repentance had come and gone. It was time to pay the consequences.

When we go our own way, there are always consequences. Perhaps the worst consequence is that our sin simply turns us from God. If we appear to get away without any other obvious consequence, that’s the worst thing that could happen, as it emboldens us to continue running from God. Daily then, as we recognize our failures, we must confess and repent. God often gives us time which we should use to turn around. If we refuse, we will eventually realize our opportunity for repentance has passed, as we pay the consequences.