Bad Parenting

Then he took his oldest son who was to reign in his place and offered him for a burnt offering on the wall. 2 Kings 3:27

I don’t have to look very far to witness poor parenting. Daily in clinic, I observe families in times of stress and sickness with screaming, crying kids, and the parents don’t always respond well. Some parents simply do nothing while their kids tear apart the exam room. Other parents, when faced with unruly children, will rant, rave, and threaten kids who’ve obviously learned that mom and dad never do what they say. Still other parents are so self-absorbed that they’ll attempt to turn a visit about their child’s injury, into a visit about their own past ailments. People are highly flawed, and having children doesn’t fix those flaws, but rather, it exacerbates them.

It’s always easy to be offended by the failures of others though, while remaining blind to our own failures, which is illustrated in today’s passage. In the story, the kings of Israel and Judah attacked Moab, defeating its armies. Laying siege to their last remaining city, Israel and Judah threatened to destroy Moab. In desperation, the king of Moab took his oldest son and sacrificed him as a burnt offering on the city wall for all to see. That is some horrific parenting, and the story should offend our sensibilities. Such an act isn’t even thinkable in our culture. There is simply no context in which any of us would ever do such a thing. So, it’s easy for us to judge that act of child sacrifice as the abomination that it is.

As I said though, it’s always easy to see the failures of others, while remaining blind to my own. I may never be guilty of the literal sacrifice of a child, but in my addiction, I made terribly selfish choices that put my needs over the needs of my children. In the worst of my self-destruction, my wife observed that I loved myself and the drug more than I loved her and the children. I didn’t think that was fair, but that is the behavior she experienced – that I sacrificed her and my kids on the altar of my addiction.

It’s always easier to see flaws in others than in ourselves. So, I must ask myself, How am I putting my needs ahead of my children’s? How am I sacrificing their interests for my own? When I allow my temper to flare, yelling, I put my needs first. When I’m selfish with my time, I sacrifice their needs for my own. I may not be as horrible as the king of Moab, but if I want to raise healthy kids, I must put their needs ahead of my own, refusing to sacrifice them at the altar of my self-centeredness.