Demanding Vitamins in Treatment

He refused and said, “I will not eat.” 1 Samuel 28:23

While in treatment for my opioid addiction, one of our counselors made the mistake of mentioning a specific health supplement, which he believed improved his brain function. Instantly, all the guys in treatment wanted to be on it. Even as a physician, knowing there wasn’t any evidence to support this supplement, I wanted to be on it too. The treatment facility, however, didn’t see the need to go to the expense of buying that supplement for everyone. Some of the guys were outraged. Don’t you want us to be healthy? I had to laugh at all of us at that point. If we truly wanted to be healthy, we needed to do whatever it took to cut drugs out of our lives. Some of the guys couldn’t let it go though, applying a significant amount of effort into getting that supplement. You’re standing in the way of our health! It was, of course, more than a little absurd that we were fighting about some minor (and questionable) supplement, when just a few days earlier, we’d all been putting poisons in our body. Investing energy in the supplement fight was working the wrong problem. It was a farcical gesture, as we pretended to be obsessed with healthy living.

Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s how I interpret King Saul’s behavior in today’s passage. In the story, Samuel spoke from beyond the grave, predicting that the Philistines would soon defeat Israel, and that Saul would be killed. Stricken by the news, Saul refused to eat. Now I’m sure he probably wasn’t terribly hungry, but the gesture of fasting was pointless pouting. His entire life, Saul did whatever he wanted, disobeying God, and now, only at the end of his life, he pretended to deny himself. This was a ridiculous gesture. This was too little too late and he wasn’t fooling anyone. So, when a good meal was placed in front of him, his hunger kicked in and he ate.

Often, when faced with my own failures, I apply energy to the wrong solution. When I was depressed because of my opioid addiction, I sought an antidepressant. What I needed to do was to stop using drugs. Once, when my own body weight was causing me knee pain, I sought treatment for my knee. What I needed to do was to lose weight. Getting sober and losing weight required a lot of work though, so I pursued an easier (though pointless) solution. Seeking recovery now means being honest about the real problem and addressing it directly. When I make absurd gestures about pretending to address a problem, I’m not fooling anyone and I’m not doing myself any good.