What’s My Pacifier?

And whenever the harmful spirit from God was upon Saul, David took the lyre and played it with his hand. So Saul was refreshed and was well, and the harmful spirit departed from him. 1 Samuel 16:23

When our son was a toddler, we took his pacifiers away, but because his sister was still an infant, she got to keep hers. So, if ever the house got too quiet and we couldn’t find him, we knew where to look – under his sister’s crib sneaking one of her pacifiers. Why? Why did he want to sneak sucks on that pacifier? It’s because it was a comfort he knew. As an infant, when distressed, we taught him to calm himself with a suck reflex. In that pacifier, he knew he could find comfort, relief, or release, from whatever stresses a toddler.

Grown up, I’m not all that much different. When stressed, I turn to the comforts I know. In my addiction, my pill became my comfort for everything. Bad day at work? Take a pill. Can’t sleep? Take a pill. Fight with my wife? Take a pill. Gradually my pills became my only coping mechanism. Unfortunately, they also caused tremendous stress as my addiction grew to consume my life. Still, even in the disaster of my addiction, I wanted another pill. How am I going to handle the stress of losing my marriage, job, and career without my pills?

Coping mechanisms are the theme of today’s passage, which tells of King Saul’s pacifier. Living in defiance of God, Saul severely damaged his relationship with him. Saul was still king, but he was living on borrowed time as God had rejected his sovereignty and promised to replace him with another. In this condition, tormented by his conscience, Saul began his descent into madness. In the chaos of his insanity, Saul found some comfort in music, which calmed his tortured mind. Music became Saul’s relief and release. Music wasn’t a bad thing. Coping mechanisms can be healthy or unhealthy. But it didn’t solve his problem – he needed to repent and follow God. Music simply soothed some of the symptoms.

Where I turn when stressed says a lot about my faith. When under duress, do I reach for porn, food, shopping, or chemicals? Not all coping mechanisms are unhealthy, but I tend to reach for those that provide immediate gratification, which usually means I must pay some price later. I’m not great at it, but I’m learning that in my distress, it’s far healthier if I turn to God, asking him how I should respond. In doing so, I choose a healthy response to my stress, instead of simply trying to temporarily find relief from it.