A Life Pointed at God

But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you. 1 Samuel 13:14

Even prior to my drug addiction, I always believed in God. In accordance with the evangelical tradition in which I grew up, I put my faith in Christ at a young age, never rejecting that faith. So, what went wrong? What went wrong was that I believed in God, but I followed me. This led to the disaster of my addiction. Now, living in faith and recovery means daily attempting to follow God’s will instead of my own. And that has made all the difference between a life of misery and chaos and a life of joy and peace.

It’s not that I’m perfect now. Far from it. I still struggle with pride, gluttony, lust, anger, and resentment, and I’m still daily tempted to follow my way. In fact, if you added up all my sins on an average day 15 years ago and compared them with today, you probably wouldn’t be all that impressed with my progress. I still struggle. I still fail. So, what’s the difference between then and now?

Today’s passage, I think, illustrates the difference between my two lives. In the story, King Saul took it upon himself to offer a sacrifice (the priest’s job) before an approaching battle. Saul believed in God. He never rejected his faith. His fatal flaw was that though he believed in God, his life was pointed at himself and so, he did everything his way. For this sin, God rejected him as king and passed the kingdom to David, who’s life would be pointed at God instead of self. David was far from perfect though. In fact, he would later have a man killed to cover up his adulterous affair with the man’s wife. To me, David’s sin seems far greater than Saul’s. Still, God blessed David and rejected Saul. Why did God treat them so differently even though they both sinned? Today’s passage reveals the answer. Both men believed in God, but Saul’s life was pointed at himself, while David’s life was pointed at God. David still struggled and he still failed, but overall, he made a genuine effort to seek God and to follow his will.

I won’t be perfect in this life. As long as I breath, I’ll have my flaws. I don’t have to live enslaved to those flaws though. In daily making a genuine effort to point my life at God, I can know the freedom, joy, and peace of a new life in him, despite the fact that I’m far from perfect.