Fear of Tomorrow
When Saul saw the army of the Philistines, he was afraid, and his heart trembled greatly. I Samuel 28:5
As much as I would like to have it all together, I still struggle with this one. In my drug addiction, I was constantly afraid of what tomorrow would bring. Withdrawal, discovery, and consequences were always lurking. Even in recovery though, the unknowable future can be anxiety inducing.
Today’s passage reveals the contrast between King Saul and David, and how their faith – or lack thereof – influenced their view of the future. Saul, having turned his back on God to follow his own path, found himself under imminent attack by the Philistines.
Only in great distress did he finally seek God, but received no answer. He then turned to a necromancer, known to communicate with the dead. The witch summoned the dead prophet Samuel, who predicted Saul’s death the next day at the hands of the Philistines.
In contrast, in the same passage, David returned to his home to find it pillaged and his family carried off by the Amalekites. Because David followed God, He prayed, asking His will. Shall I pursue (I Samuel 30:8)? God answered and David obeyed.
The question for me, is: Am I Saul or David? Do I turn to God only when I really really need Him? Do I follow me and rightly fear the future as I have abandoned God? Or, like David, do I follow God in all things? Do I continually seek to know His will and then obey Him?
Following God does not mean that only good things will happen. David’s home was attacked, and his family taken. In following God though, David knew that no matter what happened, God held him in his hand. Even death could not separate him from his God.
Though I long for this kind of faith, I still follow me sometimes, pursuing disaster. Even in following God, trials still come. In those trials, self-inflicted or otherwise, I must daily strive to be like David, looking to God’s will, not my own. Only in truly following Him, do I learn to not fear tomorrow.