The Idiot in Church

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. To draw near to listen is better than to offer the sacrifice of fools, for they do not know that they are doing evil. Ecclesiastes 5:1

When I came home from treatment, I was desperately aware of my need for God. Though it was uncomfortable to go to church, because of my shame, I needed to go. I embraced humility, completely aware of what a mess I was. Even though I was newly sober, in this posture, on my knees before God, I was profoundly wise.

In recovery though, something subtle happened. It was as if I got up off my knees and stood tall. I’m recovered now. I’ve got this figured out. I don’t think I actually said that consciously, but I it’s what my posture towards God looked like. I’m not struggling anymore. I don’t need you as badly as I did back then. In abandoning my most obvious failure, I ignored all my smaller ones.

In doing so, I became the fool that Solomon warned of in today’s passage. He insisted that when I go to church, I must always choose humility, embracing my dependence on God, listening to instruction and accepting correction. When I start to think that I’ve arrived and don’t need God that badly, I become the idiot in church.

As uncomfortable as it may be to say, I’m not alone in my idiocy. Christians are naturally prone to this error. We avoid the big sins (drinking, smoking, adultery), we hide the small ones (pornography, anger, pride, gossip) and we find ourselves to be quite good people. We go to church with no real plan to change and thus, we don’t really need God. I’ve accepted Christ. I’m saved. I’m good now.  

In this condition, we have no further need for transformation and we stop growing. The life of a disciple, as Christ described it though, is one of continual transformation, from following self, to following him. If we truly follow God, we must remain continually aware of our need. If we don’t want to be the idiot in church, we must see that we need God every day as much as the one who just got out of treatment.