Cheat the System

So they feared the LORD but also served their own gods, after the manner of the nations from among whom they had been carried away.  2 Kings 17:33

Whenever we meet new guys at the jail for our Sunday morning Bible study, my buddy and I tell our stories. As we meet new guys often, we tell our stories often, and mine seems to have gotten shorter over the years. As I’ve endeavored to communicate my life struggle as succinctly as possible, I’ve boiled my tale down to this – I’ve always believed in God, but I’ve simply followed me. I claim to have faith, but still, I just do what I want.

On one level, I truly want to follow God. I believe that it’s the right thing to do. But I’ve always had an appetite for those things that he seems to frown upon. Once I figured out that God forgives all my sins, I realized that I’d found the loophole in the Christian life. I could believe in God, do what I want, and then ask forgiveness later. I discovered how to beat God’s system. What I didn’t count on, was that even though God may forgive my sins, there are still practical consequences here on Earth. If I use drugs, I may ask forgiveness and be eternally forgiven by God, but I’m still going to be addicted here and now.

Even though we may believe in God, it’s our nature to follow ourselves. This is illustrated in today’s passage, which sums up the struggle of God’s people. In the narrative, we read how the Israelites feared God, but they also maintained their idol worship. They thought they could have it both ways, claiming faith and doing what they wanted. God always forgave them when they returned to him, but he also allowed them to suffer destruction when they wandered.

And that’s the lesson of my drug addiction. When I follow me, I think I’m living the life I want, but really, I’m just creating my own misery. God may forgive me for going my way, but I’ve not cheated the system. When I engage in self-destructive behavior, I’m still going to self-destruct. So now, in daily seeking to live in faith and recovery, I’ve come to realize that the life I truly want is not found in following me, but in following God. I once thought my appetite led to the good life, but my appetite has led only to wretchedness. God wasn’t trying to wreck my fun. Rather, he was trying – and still is – to save me from myself.