My Head and My Heart

Remain tonight, and in the morning, if he will redeem you, good; let him do it. But if he is not willing to redeem you, then, as the LORD lives, I will redeem you. Lie down until the morning.” Ruth 3:13

I write often enough about my self-destructive nature, that anyone reading may think that I don’t believe that I have any healthy desires. It’s true – I don’t subscribe to Follow Your Heart, because I know that my emotions and natural impulses can easily lead me astray. But my heart isn’t always wrong – it just needs some healthy boundaries. For instance, when I met my wife, I was instantly in love. Over time though, as I recognized that she didn’t reciprocate my feelings, I had to analyze those feelings. By the time we eventually got together, I felt a tremendous love for her, but I also knew in my head that she was an amazing woman and a wonderful choice for a wife. It was the right decision in my heart and in my head. My heart though, has led me wrong often enough in the past, that I must remain suspicious of it. Not all my emotions are unhealthy. But I need my brain to help sort out the good from the bad.

A healthy relationship and a healthy life require the use of our head and our heart. This is illustrated in today’s passage. In it, Ruth recognized a mutual attraction between her and Boaz and so she presented herself to him, suggesting they marry. At that point, Boaz could have followed his hormones or his heart, either taking sexual advantage of Ruth, or simply marrying her. But he knew that, according to his people’s custom, another man had the right to seek Ruth’s hand in marriage first. Boaz wanted Ruth, but he also wanted to do this right. So, he first went to this other man, clearing the issue. Boaz’s heart told him to do one thing, but his head reigned in his behavior, making sure he behaved righteously.

I need both my head and my heart. One cannot rule alone. If I made all my decisions according to my emotional impulses, my life would be chaos (Jeremiah 17:9). If I made all my decisions according to logic, my life would be cold and meaningless (1 John 4:8). I was created by God to live in a loving relationship with him and with those around me. My life is to be filled with love. However, God has also created me to know my best life when I follow his will. To experience the life for which I was created, I can and should indulge in my heart, but only when my head tells me it’s within God’s boundaries.