What Do My Kids Need from Me?

Then the men of the town said to Joash, “Bring out your son, that he may die, for he has broken down the altar of Baal and cut down the Asherah beside it.” But Joash said to all who stood against him, “Will you contend for Baal? Or will you save him?” Judges 6:30-31

For some reason, my wife and I have been talking lately about alcohol in the house in the context of raising children. We were both raised in dry homes and so, early in our marriage, we decided no alcohol. That didn’t stop me from hiding a bottle of liquor in the garage though. In theory, I agreed with my wife – no alcohol for the kid’s sake – but in practice, I wanted to drink. If they never know, it can’t hurt them, right? This was addictive, self-destructive behavior that eventually hurt everyone in my family. So now, we don’t drink at all, and we don’t keep alcohol in the house (none hidden in the garage either).

Still, not everyone has a problem with chemicals like me. There are a lot of parents in the world who can have a glass of wine with dinner. So, what’s the verdict on alcohol in the Christian home? I know those who feel it’s better for their kids to have some exposure to alcohol prior to going off to college. I also know those who feel that any alcohol in the home normalizes a potentially self-destructive behavior. Who’s right? I don’t have a concrete answer, but today’s passage helps frame the question.

In the story, God commanded Gideon to tear down his father’s altar to Baal. Gideon obeyed, but did it at night to remain anonymous. The secret got out though, and the next day the town mob went to Gideon’s house, intending to kill him. Gideon’s father, Joash, came out and chastised the mob, turning them from their murderous intentions. Remember though, that this was Joash’s altar that Gideon had destroyed. The passage doesn’t tell us Joash’s thought process, but he had a choice to make. In his wrath at his son for destroying his altar, he could have sided with the crowd and with his own idol worship. Or, he could stand up to the crowd, sacrificing his own desires to protect his son. What’s right for my son? What does he need from me?

That is the question we must ask when considering alcohol in the house. So often, we make decisions based on what we want and then justify the effect it may have on our kids – like me and my hidden bottle in the garage. The right question though, isn’t “What do I want?” but rather, “What do my kids need from me?”