Difficult Boundaries

Even Maacah, his mother, King Asa removed from being queen mother because she had made a detestable image for Asherah. 2 Chronicles 15:16

I’ve not yet had anyone in my family or close circle of friends who’s struggled with addiction, and I’ve not had anyone that close to me threaten my own recovery. So, I don’t have much experience with enforcing strict boundaries with those near to me. I’ve been on the other side of it though. When I was the perpetrator – the one addicted – who threatened to tear the family apart, it was my wife who had to enforce difficult boundaries. So, perhaps she should be the one writing today’s blog. Having experienced the other side of it though, I think I can tell you that she faced a horrible choice. In the end though, she simply decided that she couldn’t raise her kids in a using environment. So, she laid it out for me. I had to choose between drugs or family. I could not have both. Had I continued to use, she would have left. This would have been terrible, but for the health of her and the children, she created a boundary and she stuck to it.

Creating boundaries is hard and the closer the relationship, the harder it is. With family, boundaries can be downright catastrophic. That’s the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, King Asa followed God, ridding his country of all idol worship. At some point in his reformation, his work collided with that of his mother, Maacah, who promoted the worship of Asherah. Faced with a choice between his mother and his God, for his own health and that of his kingdom’s, Asa chose God and stripped his own mother of her political power. This couldn’t have been easy, but Asa stuck to his convictions, doing what was right, even when it meant making boundaries within the family.

Boundaries are difficult. There are times though, that for your own health, you must create them. It is likely that the person with whom you’re creating that boundary will appeal to your faith, telling you that you’re not being loving or Christlike. If and when that happens, remember the story of King Asa and know that boundaries are sometimes the only right thing to do.