Not a Chance

But Micaiah said, “As the LORD lives, what the LORD says to me, that I will speak.” 1 Kings 22:14

It is quite likely that you look back at my behavior during my drug addiction with some disapproval, knowing that you would never do such things. And you’re right. You never would. It’s also likely though, that you struggle with some things with which I don’t struggle. You likely have some behaviors that are foreign to me and in which I’ll never engage. I would never do that. Even in my own drug use, I had certain lines I wouldn’t cross. Though I’d write my own prescriptions, I would never intercept those medications which a patient needed. And I’d never swipe hospital morphine or inject such a drug. Though I was addicted and though I certainly engaged in nefarious behaviors, I still had certain rules that I just didn’t break. I recognize the absurdity of that now. The line that I shouldn’t have crossed should have been drawn at – Don’t do drugs at all.

We all have certain behaviors that are simply out-of-bounds. This is illustrated by the prophet Micaiah in today’s passage. In the story, King Ahab and King Jehoshaphat considered joining forces to attack the Syrians. They called upon Ahab’s 400 prophets who unanimously agreed that God was on their side. Still, King Jehoshaphat wanted a second opinion and so, a messenger was sent to fetch Micaiah. When the messenger got to Micaiah, the messenger pleaded with him to simply agree with the 400 prophets. Just say what everyone else is saying (my paraphrase). To his credit, Micaiah insisted that he would say only what God told him to say. Micaiah lived to carry out God’s will and he would not deviate from that path.

In recovery, I’m slowly learning to do this. Once, I made the rules by which I lived, and I set the lines I would not cross. Now, in recovery, I’m gradually learning that God sets these rules, and it is daily up to me to live by them. There is actually a freedom in getting my mind to a place where some temptation just isn’t an option anymore. I simply will not do that. Once that thing isn’t available to me, it’s far less of a struggle not to do it. Not a chance. Once upon a time, I set the rules. Now, if I desire to enjoy the new life, I allow God to set the rules. Following those rules doesn’t save me. I can’t save myself. Life is far more pleasant however, when I get to the point where using drugs simply isn’t an option anymore.