You Did This to Me

When Ahab saw Elijah, Ahab said to him, “Is it you, you troubler of Israel?” 1 Kings 18:17

As a physician, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself caring for the student athlete, whose burning question is always the same – When can I return to play? Whether it’s the wrestler with a skin infection or the volleyball player with a concussion, they wall want to know when they can go back to their beloved sport. I get it. I’ve been there. Once, while playing college football, I took a blow to the head and when I came to, I found myself standing on the wrong sidelines. After the next play, I ran across the field to my own sideline, where I convinced the team physician that I was fine. At that point, I would have given anything to get back into the game. So, I get it when my patients are passionate about returning to their sport as soon as possible.

And I don’t take it personally when they blame me. Yes, sometimes I’m viewed as the bad guy, the reason the student athlete can’t be an athlete right now. When I tell a patient that he or she is going to be out for at least four weeks for a broken collar bone, their emotional response is to be frustrated at me. I know it doesn’t make any sense. I didn’t break that collar bone and I’m the one trying to help. In their emotionally driven brain though, I’m the enemy, the one telling them they’ll be out of football for four weeks. As the bearer of bad news, it’s my fault.

This is the phenomenon experienced by Elijah in today’s passage. In the story, Elijah had previously told King Ahab that, due to his idol worship, there would be three years of drought and famine. This made Elijah a public enemy and when Elijah was commanded to return to King Ahab three years later, Elijah wisely feared for his life. When Ahab saw Elijah, the king lashed out in anger. This made no sense. It wasn’t Elijah’s fault that Israel experienced famine. Rather, it was Ahab’s fault as he led the people in idol worship. It was far easier though for Ahab to blame Elijah than to blame the real perpetrator of the drought.

It’s our nature to blame others when we cause ourselves misery. To admit fault is painful and it means we must change, which is really painful. So, to avoid the pain, we blame others. The problem with making ourselves out to be the victim is that, as long as it’s not our fault, we can’t fix it. So, if we’re addicted and we blame others for our addiction, then we can never get sober because we cannot change others. In blaming others, we stay stuck. It is only in taking responsibility for our own failures that we can begin to grow and change. This is painful, but if we want to get out of the misery, it is the only way.