The Problem with Women

He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. 1 Kings 11:3

If you read my blog regularly, you know that I write a lot about our self-destructive appetites. The problem with those appetites – whether those appetites are for food, chemicals, or money – doesn’t lie with the object of our desires. Food is necessary for life and is a gift from God. Likewise, some of the same chemicals we abuse can be used for good. So, the problem isn’t with the food, the chemicals, or the money. No, the problem we have with those things lies within us. It is our propensity to elevate those things to an inappropriate status, making gods out of them. When we find relief and release in food, we usually overindulge. When we seek a high from chemicals, we often become addicted. When see seek money above all, we become greedy pigs. The fault isn’t with food, chemicals, or money. Rather, the fault is in us – In our attitude, desires, and behavior towards those things.

So it is with sex – at least it is for men, who I’m writing to and about today. Sex itself isn’t wrong, evil, or self-destructive. Sex is necessary for life to continue, and it is a gift from God. Sex isn’t the problem. It is, rather, men’s attitude, desires, and behaviors towards sex that leads us astray.

This, to me, is the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, we’re told how Solomon – who had previously followed God in all he did – was led astray by his 700 wives and 300 concubines. That number alone seems profoundly unhealthy. I’m sure there were cultural differences but still, 1,000 is an absurd number by any standard. The passage explains that it was his “love” for these women that led him astray. I’d suggest that these relationships had nothing to do with authentic love, but rather were attachments driven by sex and power. Solomon “loved” women, like I love donuts. He loved what women did for him, which was lust, not love. It was this lust that led to his great failure as a king, as he allowed his desire for these women to lead him astray, worshipping their foreign gods. The problem, however, wasn’t with the women, but rather, with Solomon’s attitude, desires, and behavior towards them.

As men, we face the same problem. When we elevate sex above all, like Solomon, we engage in self-destructive behaviors. So, the problem with women, of course, isn’t really with women at all. Our problem rather, lies with our own attitudes, desires, and behavior towards them. And for that, we alone are responsible.