Manly Behavior

Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes . . . 1 Kings 2:2-3

There’s a small controversy brewing with my football team this year regarding their new male cheerleaders. I’m pretty sure we’ve seen male cheerleaders previously, so I’m not sure why it’s a big deal this year, but it’s been in the news and so I’ve followed fan’s reactions with some curiosity. One fan, a male, lamented the change in tradition. To him, it was a vitally important part of the football experience to watch young, scantily clad women dance for his entertainment. The addition of men was going to ruin that. I honestly don’t care about male cheerleaders, but I do find our attitude about female cheerleaders to be a little strange. I’ve got nothing against cheerleaders, but to me, grown men being entertained by young, scantily clad women, reveals a cultural objectification of women that is unhealthy, but which is also considered completely normal. That’s just what men do.

Once, when I mentioned the damage that pornography does to a marriage, the guy with whom I was speaking objected. Wait. Pornography? That’s just what men do. Please don’t hear that I’m equating cheerleading with pornography. I’m simply addressing this attitude that suggests that normal manly behavior involves objectifying and lusting after women. While I’ve certainly been guilty of it myself, this attitude is, according to Christ, profoundly unhealthy. Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28).

Our culture’s concept of manly behavior is very much at odds with the Bible’s concept of manly behavior, which is defined in today’s passage. In the narrative, King David – perhaps not the best example of a Godly man’s behavior towards women – was dying and wanted to pass on life advice to his son, Solomon. He admonished Solomon to be a man, which he defined simply as following God.

As a child, I impulsively did whatever I wanted. It was my parent’s job, as I grew, to instruct me to do, not whatever I wanted, but to do what was right. In my addiction though, I regressed to infantile behavior, going back to following my appetite above all. Recovery then, had meant growing up, being a man, and again learning to follow not my will, but God’s. Our culture tells me that manly behavior means lusting after women, obeying my appetite. God, however, says that true manly behavior means saying no to my infantile desires so that I may follow him. That, according to God, is what a real man does.