Romanticizing the Past

And David said longingly, “Oh, that someone would give me water to drink from the well of Bethlehem that is by the gate!” 2 Samuel 23:15

I have an oddly fond memory of my very first days of using opioids. I know that this was the beginning of an addiction nightmare that lasted for years. I know that my mind should recall that time with horror. I know this, but still, I feel differently. As is so often the case, I find that what I know and what I feel, are two very different things. I feel like it was good, innocent times, when I didn’t know any better and the drug felt amazing. My wife doesn’t like it when I talk like this because it makes her worry. But I find that it’s actually helpful. Here’s why – If my feelings tell me that something was so good, but I know it to be so bad, then the exercise helps me to understand that my feelings cannot always be trusted. My feelings aren’t always wrong, but romanticizing my drug use has got to be one of the stupidest things ever, and so, this feeling helps me to view all my emotions with some suspicion, which is appropriate. When I feel like some memory was so wonderful, I’ve got to filter it through what I know to be true.

King David discovered this same thing about himself in today’s passage. In the story, David casually reminisced about drinking water from a certain well which he must have visited in his youth. This water probably wasn’t any different from any other cool water, but David romanticized it, remembering it with reverential fondness. This well, however, was currently in a location that was occupied by Israel’s enemies, the Philistines. When David’s three mighty warriors heard his lament, they took it upon themselves to break through enemy lines, obtain water from this well, and bring it back to their king. Upon receiving the water, and upon realizing that his men risked their lives for it, David realized how foolish his feelings were. Though he felt one thing (he really wanted that water), he knew something very different (risking his men’s lives for the water was foolish).

It’s our nature to romanticize the past. Whether it was drug use, a cool drink, or a relationship with “the one that got away”, we’re prone to fondly remembering the good things while forgetting the bad. This isn’t always unhealthy. We may fondly remember when our kids were toddlers, while forgetting the sleepless nights. When, however, our memories of the past rob us of contentment with our present, this can be terribly unhealthy. So, as with my reminiscence about my drug use, we must be wary of what we feel, filtering our emotions through what we know.