Paralyzed by It

Absalom would say to him, “See, your claims are good and right, but there is no man designated by the king to hear you.” 2 Samuel 15:3

Having done too many sit-ups at the gym one day this week, I was driving my pickup later that day when I was hit with an agonizing cramp in one of my abdominal muscles. I have too much fat to see my abs, but suddenly, I was painfully aware of just one of them. While driving, I couldn’t lean back to stretch it out and so, I had to pull over, lean my seat back, and massage it until it let up. While that muscle spasmed, I was useless, unable to drive or move. I didn’t choose the cramp, but I voluntarily engaged in the behavior that led to it, and while it remained with me, I was paralyzed by it.

Though it didn’t involve sit-ups, King David experienced a similar phenomenon. Once, David was a man of action, fighting giants. Later in life though, he became a man of inaction. When David’s firstborn son, Amnon, raped his half-sister, Tamar, David did nothing. In today’s passage, we read of a vacuum left by King David’s abdication of his duties in judging his people. In his absence, Absalom – another son – took up the responsibility, endearing himself to the people in preparation for his attempt to overthrow David.

What happened to David? When did he become so passive? I’d suggest that his inaction was at least in part due to his sin with Bathsheba. Once David had boldly followed God’s will. Then, however, in his lust, he forced himself on Bathsheba, impregnated her, and murdered her husband to cover it up. Once, David held the moral high ground. Now though, he was paralyzed by the weight of his own sin. This doesn’t appear to be due to lack of God’s forgiveness but rather was simply a practical consequence of his moral failure. As someone pointed out to me recently, David couldn’t confront Amnon for raping Tamar, when he had forced himself on Bathsheba.

I don’t have to be perfect to be used by God, but I can’t be actively abusing drugs while trying to help others find recovery. If I’m still enslaved to some struggle, then, as long as I’m under its influence, I’ll be paralyzed by it – unable to grow, move forward, or be of use to God. Recovery then, means daily reflecting on my life, asking if I’m currently entertaining any thoughts or engaging in any behavior that will incapacitate me. Daily, if I want to live free and be of use to God, I must avoid those failures that may paralyze me.