The Loss of a Child

And the LORD afflicted the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he became sick. David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 2 Samuel 12:15-16

Last week, we had a tornado-spawning storm move through, knocking down several large trees on our property. As we were sitting at home, waiting for that storm to arrive, I got a phone call from my adult son who was on his bicycle ten miles out of town on the bike trail. The storm had come in faster than expected and he was about to get caught out in it. The skies were clear as I set out to find him, so I wasn’t too worried. When I saw the approaching storm front though, our situation became a little more urgent. I picked him up maybe one or two minutes before it hit, and as we drove home slowly, with winds whipping and trees coming down, I began to thank God that my son called when he did. I would have been an emotional wreck if I hadn’t been able to find him before the storm hit. Had he been caught out in it, I would have prayed desperately for his safety.

All this occurred in the context of some friends who recently lost their adult son in a tragic car accident. Just a week prior, I’d attended a prayer vigil for this young man as he fought for his life in the hospital. Now, knowing he had succumbed to his injuries, I’ve thought a lot about their situation. Honestly, I can’t imagine their pain and desperation. How they must have prayed, begging God to intervene, to save their son. They loved their son as I love mine. In the days between the accident and his passing, I’m sure that every moment was consumed by thoughts and prayers about him.

This is where David found himself in today’s passage. In the story, we read how God orchestrated the illness that would take the life of David and Bathsheba’s newborn son. For a week, we’re told David fasted and prayed for his son’s life, begging God to relent. In the end though, the child died, and David was left to comfort his grieving wife. Through it all, it appears that David’s faith in God was unwavering. Perhaps he questioned God, but still, he continued to believe in and follow God, knowing that whether he agreed with God or not, God was still God.

All of this makes me wonder how I would respond in the same situation. I know that in the storm, I would turn to God, praying desperately. If I didn’t get the outcome I desired though, how would I respond? Would I continue to seek God and his will? Or, in my anguish, would I curse God and turn from him? I don’t believe that every illness is a direct result of God’s punishment – like in David’s story – but I do believe in a God who is ultimately in control of all things. So, when something terrible happens, I believe it was at least allowed by God.

Which of course brings us to the question of why. Why does a loving God allow such pain and suffering? I could attempt here to outline my theological answer to this question, but in the suffering, I doubt that a logical argument would provide much comfort. In the end, it comes down to this – Do I have faith in God or not? Do I believe that he is in control and that he will work all things out ultimately for good for those who love him?

I recently had to attend a leadership training course for my organization, during which one of the facilitators told a story about something her husband had done that was hurtful. We were all terribly offended for her. What a terrible husband! Why would he do such a thing? Then, she retold the story from his point of view, including all the details we didn’t know the first time around. Suddenly, we had a very different perspective of the event. Oh, that makes more sense now.

God sees in whole what we can only see in part, and we’re never promised by God to see the whole picture. Though there was a reason behind it, Job was never provided with the reason for his suffering. When he complained to God, God simply said that as God, Job had to trust him. What other choice did Job have? If God is real, then there are no other options.

So, that’s the question for me. Do I believe in God? It’s easy to say I believe when all is going well. When, however, life doesn’t go the way I think it should, what does that do to my faith? Do I believe that God loves me and that he will work all things out for good in light of eternity? Do I believe this, even when I hate the pain and suffering that he allows here on Earth?

God is God. If I believe that, then I have no other options but to trust him. Still, I know that I’ve not faced the trials that others have. When I do, I hope that I will respond with the faith of Job – Though he slay me, I will hope in him (Job 13:15).