Destined to Fail?

Thus Saul died, and his three sons, and his armor-bearer, and all his men, on the same day together. 1 Samuel 31:6

During repeated attempts at sobriety, followed by repeated relapses, it was easy to think that I was destined to fail. God made me this way. I can’t help it. I’m just a loser addict and I’ll never stop using drugs. Oddly, it was a comforting thought because, even though it meant I’d never find recovery, it also absolved me of responsibility. In that mindset, I was free to stop trying. I could simply embrace failure and use drugs as much as I wanted without any injury to my conscience. It’s not my fault. I’m destined for this. God is against me and so, I have no chance at success.

Though the passage doesn’t say it, I’ve got to wonder if King Saul felt this way. It was, after all, way back at the beginning of his reign, that the prophet Samuel predicted that Saul’s kingdom would be given to David (1 Samuel 13:14). During his 40-year reign, Saul made many missteps, with Samuel repeating his doomsday prophesy. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has also rejected you from being king (1 Samuel 15:23). Even after Samuel’s death, the prophet, from beyond the grave, predicted Saul’s demise the following day (1 Samuel 28:18-19). For 40 years, Saul heard Samuel telling him that he was going to fail. At the end of his life, I’ve got to wonder if he felt destined for failure, that God was against him from the start, and that he had no chance at success.

From his first prophecy against Saul though, Samuel made it clear that this was Saul’s doing. You have not kept the command of the LORD your God, with which he commanded you. For then the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever (1 Samuel 13:13). Saul could claim God was against him, but it was Saul who lived his entire life following his own will, not God’s. God didn’t set himself in opposition to Saul. Saul chose opposition to God, sealing his own fate.

This is where I found myself – following my way, living in opposition to God. At that point, it would have been easier on my conscience to embrace a destiny of failure. But that would have gotten me nowhere. I didn’t want a life of failure. So, I accepted my responsibility and I turned to God. And this is the blessed message of the gospel – That there is always forgiveness for those who repent and turn to Christ. It was in following him, instead of me, that I found a new life, escaping my destiny of failure.