When I Get it All Backwards

Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.” 1 Samuel 15:24

A couple of years ago, while shopping in a department store with my wife, I tried on a hoodie sweatshirt and accidentally put it on backwards, finding myself suddenly blinded by the hood. Though it only lasted a moment, I panicked, flailing my arms in confusion. I managed to get the sweatshirt turned around quickly, but not before my wife had a good laugh. It was funny of course, but for that one moment, with the sweatshirt on backwards, I was completely lost. Had I tried to navigate the world in that condition, I would have been a walking disaster.

This is what today’s passage is about – getting it all backwards and suffering the consequences. In the story, God commanded King Saul to utterly destroy the Amalekites but instead, he spared their king and kept the best of their livestock. Why? Because that’s what his people wanted. God said one thing, but the people said another. Getting his priorities completely backwards, Saul worried more about what his people thought, than about what God thought. Concerned with public opinion more than God’s opinion, he sinned against God, and it cost him his kingdom.

Though I was king of nothing, I’ve been there. Looking back, it seems I went through the first few decades of my life getting everything backwards – being overly concerned with the thoughts and opinions of those around me. I was a weird, awkward kid, always self-conscious about being chubby. I wanted to be popular, but I’ve just never possessed the cool gene. Unfortunately, I spent far more time trying to be who I thought others wanted than I did trying to be what God wanted.

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few (Matthew 7:13-14). Following Christ will never be the cool, popular path. Seeking popularity though, is a trap and when I attempt to find meaning in popularity, I’ve got it all backwards. If I truly desire the life for which I was created, then daily, I must look to God, seeking to please him above all. When I concern myself with what the world thinks, I stumble through life, blinded by my backwards hoodie. It’s only in seeking God and his will for my life that I may experience the life, joy, and peace that I truly want.