Good Parenting

Then Saul said to the people who were with him, “Count and see who has gone from us.” And when they had counted, behold, Jonathan and his armor-bearer were not there. 1 Samuel 14:17

Some of you find that I’m too hard on myself, writing only about my failures. So, today, I’ll write about one of my wins – one of those proud parenting moments. To get there though, I must admit something – I have a fear of horses. Yes, horses. My family mocks me for this, but my fear isn’t completely irrational. When I was a kid, my sister had a pony which broke her arm and kicked my dad in the face. Over the years of working in the ER, I’ve cared for patients with ruptured spleens, cracked skulls, and broken spines, all from horse-related injuries. Horses are powerful creatures and if they want to do something, I can’t stop them. So, I believe my fear is healthy.

Like other little girls though, when she was young, my daughter loved horses. She owned a pink cowboy hat with matching boots and when we went on vacation, she saw the trail rides and wanted to go. I was torn. I feared horses, but I loved my daughter. So, I overcame my fear, and I went. Not a big deal for most parents, but to me, it was a conscious choice I had to make. Follow myself, or make the necessary sacrifice to be a good dad? I’ve made a lot of mistakes in life – in my addiction, I made many selfish choices – but overall, I’d have to say that while raising kids, I made a genuine effort to put aside my interests to do that which was good for them.

This is good parenting – seeking our children’s welfare instead of our own. It’s natural for most of us to be selfish, but good parenting often means sacrificing our interests for the good of our children. The opposite of this is illustrated in today’s passage. In the story, Jonathan secretly attacked the Philistines, causing a tremendous commotion. When King Saul, Jonathan’s father, realized that someone from his camp must have done it, he demanded that a roll call be taken. Most of us would have immediately checked on our kids, but preoccupied with self, Saul didn’t even think to look for his own son.

What is healthy for my kids? Though I’m sober, it’s still my nature to be selfish. And though my kids are grown, I’m still responsible for my interaction with them. So, do I just simply do whatever I want? Or do I look to my children’s interest, sacrificing self, to do that which is healthy for them. Good parenting means doing what’s right instead of doing what comes naturally – even if it means riding a horse.