I Only Drink Because of My Anxiety

Behold, you are old and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations. 1 Samuel 8:5

I frequently meet patients who have both an alcohol use disorder and an anxiety disorder. They’ve always been anxious, but when they first met alcohol, they found that it provided a dramatic, albeit brief, respite from their anxiety. So, they drank until the alcohol became the problem. When I tell them they need to go to treatment, I’ll often get this response – I only drink because of my anxiety. What they’re saying is that they don’t need treatment. They simply need to address the anxiety (hopefully with a simple pill) and then they’ll stop drinking.

This is wishful thinking. Though the drinking may have originally been fueled by anxiety, it now has a life of its own. If I could manage to remove all the anxiety, they’d find some other reason to drink because they’re now addicted. Additionally, the alcohol, which once “helped” the anxiety has become a driver of the anxiety. The next day, as the alcohol wears off and consequences set in, their anxiety is worse than ever. Their response (alcohol) to their anxiety has now become the greater problem.

When stressed, we frequently turn to the self-destructive for relief. This is illustrated in today’s passage, in which the Israelites demanded a king. God insisted that Israel follow him as king and he’d previously appointed judges to rule them, but those judges had repeatedly failed. So, the people demanded a king. That will solve all our problems. A king will make us feel better. They blamed Samuel’s sons for their desire for a king, but if it hadn’t been Samuel’s sons, it would have been some other excuse. They wanted a king and, despite knowing it was contrary to God’s will, they were going to get one.

When stressed, we often turn to the self-destructive. When I first discovered opioids, I found they were a tremendous relief to stress and insomnia. I told myself I needed them. My response to my stressors was far more destructive than the original stress, eventually making my life far more stressful. Recovery then, has meant going to God with life’s stressors. What do you want me to do here God? It’s my nature to drown my stressors in drugs, donuts, or lust, turning to those things for relief and release. Those things only make my life worse though, becoming an even bigger problem. If I truly desire a healthy life, then I must learn to daily take my stressors to God, asking what he wants me to do with them. Then, I must do whatever he asks.