My Kids Will Never Act Like That

Yet his sons did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice. 1 Samuel 8:3

Before I had my own children, I’d occasionally observe the terrible behavior of other children and vow that, if I ever had kids, they would never act like that. I assumed that the three-year-old’s tantrum at store was the result of bad parenting and, knowing that I’d be a better parent, I looked down on that mom. I didn’t know her story. I didn’t know if she was single, trying to raise three kids. And I had no idea what kind of mother she was. All I knew was that kid’s behavior was annoying, and I looked down on both the child and parent. Then . . . I had my own kids. Suddenly I was a little more tolerant and understanding of public tantrums. When it was my child melting down on the airplane and I was apparently powerless to stop it, I looked at those “bad” parents in a new light. I had become one of them.

I’ve got to wonder if Samuel experienced this same phenomenon. He’d grown up serving the priest Eli and he witnessed how Eli’s sons usurped their position to feed their own lusts. He saw firsthand how Eli’s lack of control over his sons led to destruction for them, for Eli, and for all of Israel. At some point, I bet he thought – If I ever have kids, they won’t act like that. Today’s passage, however, tells us that Samuel’s sons were just like Eli’s sons, abusing their authority to feed their own lusts. If, before Samuel had children, he looked down on Eli for spoiling his kids, he must have discovered some sympathy for Eli after his own parenting debacle.

If I’ve not been there, I have no idea what it’s like. I’ve got my own failures and so, I shouldn’t be so judgmental of those who fail differently. Those are lessons that I’ve been slow to learn. When I see someone today, who’s struggling with something I’ve not struggled with, I still find myself prone to condescension. Like the Pharisee at the temple, I’m tempted by arrogance, God, I thank you that I am not like other men (Luke 18:11). Indulging in my pride – one of the deadliest of sins – I reveal that I’m still terribly flawed.

When I encounter those who’re struggling with things I’ve not struggled with, it does me well to remember my own struggles. That “bad parent” at the store would have probably shaken her head at the opioid addiction with which I was wrestling at the time. Pride makes me a worse person. Humility makes me more like Christ.