If I’m a Christian, Why Am I Struggling with Drugs?

If I’m a Christian, Why Am I Struggling with Drugs?

And his comrade answered, “This is no other than the sword of Gideon the son of Joash, a man of Israel; God has given into his hand Midian and all the camp.” Judges 7:14

This may sound absurd to you, but there was a time when I expected that my belief in God should shield me from the possibility of being addicted. I knew that Christians acted a certain way, and I knew that those who acted a certain way weren’t Christians. I was a Christian and so, I simply believed that I’d never struggle with drug addiction. When my life fell apart due to my addiction, I had some questions for God.

Looking back, I can clearly see my mistake. I always believed in God, but I followed me. Evangelical Christianity rightly teaches that I’m saved by faith – not by my actions – so I incorrectly interpreted this to mean that I didn’t have to do anything. Faith though, isn’t simply knowledge or acceptance of God’s existence. Faith means believing in God so much that I base my thoughts, words, and actions on him and his will. Faith, if it is real, will impact how I live, or it isn’t faith. If my faith doesn’t radically alter my behavior, it’s a pseudofaith – a useless knowledge of God’s existence.

This useless knowledge is illustrated in today’s passage. In the story, God commanded Gideon to attack the Midian hoard with only 300 men. Gideon was understandably anxious about this, so God prompted him to sneak into the enemy camp to eavesdrop. Listening in, he heard an enemy soldier declare that God was going to give Israel victory over Midian. This soldier believed in God’s existence, but still, he was on the wrong side of God and presumably died that night when Gideon attacked. That soldier believed in God’s existence, but his belief didn’t save him. Knowledge of God is not the same as faith in God.

I worry that a lot of us are dangerously close to possessing this pseudofaith. We’ve accepted God’s existence yet when it comes to our day-to-day decisions, we simply follow ourselves. Our lives look no different than those who don’t call themselves Christians. If we were on trial for following Christ, would there be any evidence of it? Or would we point only to our one hour a week in church?

I’m far from perfect at this. I still struggle with my own will daily. Daily though, I’m learning to abandon my way for God’s – and that has made all the difference in saving me from myself. Faith means believing in God and making my feet follow him, continually seeking the new life he desires for me.

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