Who Changed My Life?

The LORD said to Gideon, “The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’” Judges 7:2

I’ve often said that I’m not responsible for having the disease of addiction, but I alone am responsible to seek treatment for my disease. So, I write frequently about my responsibility in pursuing faith and recovery. In reading, one may get the impression that I think that I changed on my own. In fact, if a reader didn’t believe in God, he (or she) may look at my story and say – You found recovery. You went to treatment and meetings. You changed your entire life. You did this. Not God. This, honestly, is a subtle temptation. After being sober for 10 years and having had significant success in putting my life back together, it’s easy to begin to believe that I’m self-sufficient. I have worked hard. I did change my life. I am quite the big deal. Others should view me as a model of recovery. Maybe I should write a book . . .

Today’s passage addresses this temptation of self-sufficiency. In the story, God sent Gideon to war with Midian, Israel’s oppressor. With an initial Israeli army of more than 30,000 soldiers, God told Gideon that was too many. He knew that if Israel defeated Midian with such an army, they’d be tempted to take credit, believing themselves to be self-sufficient. So, he commanded Gideon to lead only 300 men against thousands of Midianites. When they miraculously defeated such a great host with such a small number of men, Israel understood their reliance on and need for God. Gideon and his men listened to God and did as he commanded. Then, God worked miraculously in and through them.

This was my process of transformation. I had to follow God, and it was hard work. He didn’t leave me to do it alone though. He asked that I follow and when I obeyed, I received supernatural help. Did I do it or did God? Yes. My life transformation was a process of God working miraculous change in me after I obeyed him. Faith is looking to God, following his lead with my thoughts, words, and actions. Self-sufficiency is following myself, which is what led to my addiction in the first place. I don’t ever want to go back to addiction, so today, and every day, I’ll continue to make a genuine effort to follow God. I am responsible to do that. That, however, doesn’t mean I do this on my own. God continues to daily change me as I daily do the work of following him.