Weak Men

Nevertheless, the road on which you are going will not lead to your glory, for the LORD will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. Judges 4:9

In my addiction, I abdicated a lot of my responsibilities as a husband and father. It’s not that I wasn’t there. I was present, but in my drug use, I simply couldn’t be who I was supposed to be to my wife and children. As my addiction grew, it consumed more and more of my life, which meant I just didn’t have the time or energy to be the man I was meant to be. Looking back at pictures from that time is now somewhat painful. As I look back at trips and important life events, I can see in those old photos that I was either intoxicated or withdrawing. It shames me to think of the time I lost in my addiction.

Recovery then, has meant daily working at being the man, husband, and father I’m supposed to be. If selfishness ruled my life before, I must now put my family before my own plans. If I once turned my back on God, failing to point my family towards faith, I must now daily aim my life at God, encouraging my family to do likewise.

I think I’m not alone in abandoning my responsibilities as a man. As men, many of us have squandered the opportunities we’ve been given to be who God wants us to be. This is the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, a man named Barak led Israel’s army, but Deborah was the judge who delivered Israel from its oppressors. It was Deborah who commanded Barak to rally the army to overthrow their enemies. Barak said he’d go, but only if Deborah went with him. Deborah agreed, but then scolded Barak for not completely trusting God. She foretold that because of his weakness, the glory of the victory wouldn’t go to Barak, but to a woman. A few verses later, we read that it was a woman who killed the enemy’s king, robbing Barak of his victory. Because of Barak’s faithlessness and timidity, women had to do his job for him.

The story isn’t disapproving of strong women. Strong women are celebrated in the story. Rather, the story is critical of weak men who abdicate their responsibilities. As men, God desires that we guide our families in faith. We’re meant to abandon our way to seek God’s, encouraging our families to do likewise. Many of us though, have lived selfishly, relinquishing that responsibility and leaving it up to our wives. They’re not wrong in picking up our slack. The fault rather, is ours, in being so weak that women must do our job for us.