When I Think I’ve Got it All Figured Out

If a man has two wives . . . Deuteronomy 21:15

As I was preparing to leave treatment 10 years ago, I felt oddly confident that I had life all figured out. I’d returned to my faith in Christ, found an authentic recovery, and was prepared to follow God’s plan for my life. I wasn’t foolish enough to think that my life would be struggle-free, but it did seem that I’d addressed most of my flaws. As it turned out, my overconfidence and naivety were huge flaws in themselves. I still had a lot of stuff to work on. Ten years later though, and I’m still occasionally tempted to once again believe that I’ve arrived. My marriage has been put back together, my career is on track, and I regularly reach out to those who’re struggling as I have.

I’m doing amazing. I think I’m good now. In this state of mind, I can easily become resistant to change. When someone points out a potential blind spot, my pride is offended. How dare you. Do you know who I am? I point out your flaws. You don’t point out mine. My pride is itself, the evidence that I’m still terribly flawed and that I still have a long way to go. In this life I’ll not be made perfect, so, for the rest of my days, I must remain humble enough to seek transformation. The Christian life, as prescribed by Christ (Luke 9:23) is one of continual change and so, pride is deadly to my faith as it renders me incapable of change.

Today’s passage illustrates how God deals progressively with his people. Marriage, in the Garden of Eden, was originally designed to be between one man and one woman. Somewhere after the fall though, it became normal for the Israelite men to have multiple wives. Today’s passage, in fact, appears to endorse polygamy. Later though, in the New Testament, marriage was redefined to include only one man and one woman. What God once allowed or tolerated, he later prohibited. God didn’t change, but he did change his expectations for his people.

When we first come to faith, we’re taught that we’re new creatures in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). We like to think this means that we’re made perfect. While we live on this Earth though, we remain flawed, and to resist change is to embrace a pride that is deadly to our faith. To live as a Christian is to be continually transformed. Refusal to grow or change then means that we’ve stopped following Christ.