No One Likes a Manipulator

Hear, O Israel, today you are drawing near for battle against your enemies: let not your heart faint. Do not fear or panic or be in dread of them, for the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory. Deuteronomy 20:3-4

Those who’re addicted have often become master manipulators, using others to get what they want. I’ve certainly been guilty of this. When trying to get an opioid prescription from my physician, I always had a great sob story – usually fictitious – designed to get me my pills. I knew how to play on friendship, guilt, and compassion to get what I wanted. Now, working with the addicted and incarcerated, I see all the same behaviors – and it annoys me. No one likes being manipulated and no one likes the manipulator. When I prescribe a medication for an inmate and then later discover that he (or she) is diverting that medication to sell to another inmate, I’m offended. You used me. The one doing the manipulation has little remorse though – again, I know this from my own experience – because he can’t see past what he wants. His appetite rules his decision making and he doesn’t care who he uses, as long as he gets his way.

As annoyed as I am by the manipulator, I’ve got to acknowledge that today’s passage reveals how I still attempt to do this kind of thing – to God. In the passage, God told his people that as they entered the promised land, that he’d go with them, fighting for them. Paul later echoed a similar sentiment – If God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)? Upon reading these words, I immediately begin thinking about how this could work out for my benefit. If God is on my side, I can get whatever I want. This doesn’t necessarily involve evil desires. I simply want to use God to shape the world as I see fit. The passage is intended to encourage God’s people to walk in his will, but my manipulative nature twists it, making it about me and my will.

Think about our prayers. How do we pray most of the time? Usually, we go to God, not seeking his plan, but rather, asking that he bring about our plan. God, I imagine, must get frustrated by our continual attempts to use him to get our way. He created us to follow his will, but we continually resist, praying that he’d bring about our will. If we truly desire that God be on our side, then we must daily choose to be on his side. Like Jesus, on the night before his crucifixion, we must learn to pray, Not my will, but yours, be done (Luke 22:42). No one likes a manipulator.