Am I Being Punished?

But if you will not listen to me and will not do all these commandments, if you spurn my statutes, and if your soul abhors my rules, so that you will not do all my commandments, but break my covenant, then I will do this to you: I will visit you with panic, with wasting disease and fever that consume the eyes and make the heart ache. Leviticus 26:14-16

When struggling through any trial, it’s natural to ask why. In the catastrophic consequences of my addiction, I didn’t have to look far. Yes, part of me wanted to blame God, but deep down I knew that I was to blame. Honestly, most of my misery in life has been self-inflicted. In those trials, I’ve known the why – I was suffering the consequences of my self-destructive actions. There are, however, those times when bad things have happened that have had no obvious connection to anything I’d done. In those times, it’s been natural to go to God, asking why. Are you doing this to me God? Am I being punished for something?

In yesterday’s passage, God promised to reward those who obey him. Today’s passage is the reciprocal promise in which God vowed misery upon those who disobey him. Like yesterday’s passage, today’s could be dismissed as applying only to a specific people at a specific time. Also like yesterday’s verses though, this is a theme that is repeated throughout scripture. So, the questions stands – When I’m suffering, am I being punished by God for something I’ve done?

As Christians, because of Christ’s sacrificial death, we like to believe that we’re forgiven and that the strings between action and consequence have been cut. We may be eternally forgiven, but when we indulge in self-destructive behavior, we will suffer earthly consequences (Galatians 6:7-8). God still disciplines us. Still, God also allows pain in our lives that we didn’t cause. How do we know then, if a certain trial is our fault?

In any hardship, we must go to God, asking how he wants to use that pain to shape us (James 1:2-4). If God convicts us of some sin in our lives, then we must do whatever it takes to abandon it. It would be an error though to assume that every trial or illness is the direct result of our bad behavior. Still, in any trial, God uses that misery to grow our faith.

For me then, the appropriate question isn’t – Am I being punished. Rather, the right question is – How do you want me to respond to this, God? God uses pain to transform, shape, and grow us, but that requires our participation. It would be a great tragedy to go through a trial, refusing to learn from it. In any suffering, we must go to God, asking how he desires to use it in our lives. Then, we must do whatever he asks.