The F-Word

Whoever blasphemes the name of the LORD shall surely be put to death. Leviticus 24:16

When I was quite young, I heard a neighbor kid say the word fanny. I thought that was the f-word and was astonished that he said it. I learned many more colorful words from the neighbors though, and eventually, the shock wore off. I even carried some of those colorful words home, where I learned that we don’t say God Dammit. My parents explained that using God’s name as an expletive was offensive to him. Had I not been taught that lesson as a child, that phrase, which was at first offensive to me, would have simply become part of my everyday vocabulary.

I did something similar in my addiction. When I first came up with the idea of diverting opioids for my own use, it was a horrifying plan. My need for pills though, eventually overrode my conscience. The first time I did it, it was shocking, and I spent days worrying that I was going to get caught. When nothing happened though, and I ran out of pills, I returned to my plan, doing it again and again. Eventually, it wasn’t scary. It just became normal. That which had once been offensive became acceptable behavior as I eroded my conscience through repetition.

Today’s passage reveals something similar about us. In the narrative, almost an entire chapter in Leviticus is devoted to the story of one young man who blasphemed God’s name – and was subsequently stoned to death for it. This young man got into a fight with another Israelite and verbally insulted his God. Those who witnessed the curse were shocked and dragged the offender before Moses, who pronounced lethal judgment at God’s command.

This is a long way from our culture where we hear God’s name used as a curse daily. I’m not lamenting those good old days and I’m not suggesting that we should try to outlaw blasphemy. I am saying that it’s our nature to minimize and normalize behavior that God considers offensive.

In recovery, I’ve come to recognize that the little things matter. If I indulge in cursing in my mind, I’m prone to say it aloud. If I indulge in my reckless tongue, I’m more prone to indulge in other self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. If I don’t keep guard on my little self-destructive thoughts and behaviors, they can snowball into bigger self-destructive thoughts and actions. If I started having a few beers today, I’d soon be back to using opioids. In recovery, I’ve found that the little sins matter to God and so, daily, I’m learning to guard my dark thoughts, words, and actions, even when I think they’re no big deal.