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Not My Fight

Not My Fight

And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Exodus 14:13-14

Back when I was relatively new to recovery and only recently back to work, someone reported to my supervisor that I’d relapsed. It could have been devastating. My career was already in a precarious position. Thankfully, there was no corroboration to the story, and no one believed it. But still, I was hurt and angry. Who would do that to me? I realized that I had the means to figure out who it was, and I set out to do so. I fully intended to confront the individual when I found out. I soon recognized though, that my anger was poisonous to my recovery. What if I found out who it was and what if I confronted them? Would I win? What would that do for me? I wanted vengeance or vindication, but I realized that in fighting this battle, I was indulging in toxic anger simply to protect my pride. So, I relented. Nothing happened and I moved on, finding joy and peace in my recovery. This was one conflict that I just needed to let go.

Not my fight. This is the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, as the Israelites made their exodus from Egypt, they found themselves trapped between the pursuing Egyptian army and the Red Sea. Despairing at their hopeless situation, they wished they’d never left Egypt. Moses however, with a firm faith, declared that God would fight this battle for them. They had to do nothing except sit back, quit whining, and watch God work. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

I’ve never been a fan of the phrase – Let go and let God. This is one area though, in which the idiom applies. Often, when challenged with a fight, it’s my wounded pride that drags me into the conflict. I’m offended by some absurdity, and I feel it’s my job to prove that I’m right. In my need to be right, I indulge in toxic thoughts, words, and actions. Even if I prove myself right, and even if I win, I still lose because I’ve been lured into a cesspool that covers me in filth. I’m still learning this truth, but living in faith and recovery often means ignoring my pride’s need to be right. Sometimes, I must simply sit back, quit whining, and let God handle things. Sometimes, the only way to win a conflict, is not to engage in it. Not my fight.

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