I’m Not Good Enough

But Moses said to the LORD, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Exodus 4:10

I wrote yesterday about the mistake of trying to help others while I’m failing miserably myself. For instance, if I relapse into active drug use, then I probably shouldn’t continue working in addiction medicine – at least until I regain sobriety for some significant length of time. It’s possible however, to take this concept too far, deciding that I can’t help anyone until I’m flawless. Waiting for perfection would be paralyzing though, meaning that I could never help anyone with anything, because I’m never going to be faultless.

When I first came out of treatment, I started going to jail to facilitate a recovery meeting/Bible study. Did I have a lot of experience at this? No. Did I have years of recovery? Again, no. Was I a pastor? Absolutely not. Was I capable however, of getting together with others who’d struggled as I had, leading a discussion about needing God’s help? Absolutely.

In today’s passage, Moses questioned his own qualifications for carrying out God’s plan. In the story, God commanded Moses to return to Egypt to free his people from slavery. Moses had a lot of reasons not to go and, in today’s passage, he expressed his feelings of inadequacy. I’m not good enough. Send someone else. God told Moses however, that he’d been chosen by the one who created him. God knew Moses and God knew Moses’ capabilities. God intended to go with Moses, working through him to bring about his divine will. Was Moses flawed? Yes. Could God do what God wanted to do despite Moses’s flaws? Absolutely, because it wasn’t about Moses. It was about God working through his obedience.

Many of us have found ourselves here. When presented with an opportunity to do God’s will, helping those he’s put in our path, we feel inadequate. I’m not good enough. Often though, it’s not about how good we are. It’s about whether we’re willing to be vulnerable enough to admit our past mistakes and allow God to use them to help others who’re struggling as we have. I’ve been there. How can I help? It’s not about our perfection and in fact, it’s often not really about us. It’s about God using us, despite our shortcomings, to work out his will through our obedience. We’ll never be perfect. We can always however, find someone who needs us to show them God’s love.