Praying for My Wife

Isaac prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren. Genesis 25:21

In marriage two people are meant to become one (Genesis 2:24). As a husband, I must love my wife as Christ loved me and as I love myself (Ephesians 5:25-28). All my significant life decisions should include this thought – How does this affect my wife and my marriage? This is how marriage is intended to be. This, however, simply isn’t natural for me. What’s natural is to tell my wife that I love her, and then go about doing whatever I want. The most obvious manifestation of this has been my drug addiction, which didn’t just destroy my life, but also hers. She was the one person I was supposed to love and protect the most. Being married to me should have made her life better. Instead of loving her more than anyone else though, I hurt her more than anyone else.

It may not involve drug use, but a lot of us have found ourselves here. We get married and we tell ourselves that we’ll never do anything to hurt our spouses, but we’re not naturally selfless. Instead, we’re naturally self-centered. We do what we want to do, and in the consequences, we hurt those worst whom we’re supposed to love the most.

In recovery, my entire life has needed to change. Instead of simply doing whatever my appetite demands, with no regard for my wife, I must learn to consider how my behavior affects her. Once I’ve entered marriage, I’ve claimed to become one with my wife and declared that she is the one I’m going to love and protect the most. In recovery, I must learn to act like it. This mirrors my relationship with God. If I say that I’m a Christian and that I follow Christ above all, then I must now live out that reality.

In today’s passage, we see one of the best ways in which I can love my wife, putting her needs above mine. In the story, Isaac married Rebekah, who remained barren for some time. This must have stressed Rebekah greatly. Isaac saw his wife’s anguish and he did what he could – he prayed for her.

What does my wife need from me in this moment? When my wife experiences some life trial, I often want to fix it. She, however, usually asks me to pray with and for her. For some reason this still strikes me as odd. It’s just not natural. I want to fix something and she just wants me to pray. If however, I believe in God, if I believe in prayer, and if I truly love my wife, then I will put her needs above mine and I will pray with her and for her daily. This is what a good husband does.