Pandemic Insecurity

Sir, come down before my child dies. John 4:49

When I went to treatment, I knew I needed it, but I didn’t like it. Though I’d been enslaved to drugs, I was still under the illusion that I was in control. In treatment, that illusion was stripped away. I could get my snack bin only during snack bin time and I couldn’t go outside without staff present. I went to bed and ate my meals when I was told. In my disaster, control was taken away, which made me feel tremendously insecure.

In this condition, I did two things to manage my insecurities. First, I meticulously organized what little I could. I found myself making my bed, arranging my toiletries, dusting, and sweeping my room repeatedly. Feeling out of control, I controlled what little I could.

Second, in my desperation, I desperately turned to God. Previously, I’d grown accustomed to the illusion of self-reliance and success. In my perceived lack of need, I’d turned from God, following my way until I tore my life apart. In the wreckage, I realized how foolish and inadequate my self-reliance was. It took the pain and disaster of my addiction to make me see how badly I needed God.

Today’s passage reveals this principle. The story tells of an “official” whose son was dying. He’d heard of Jesus’ power and sought a miracle from him. Jesus healed his son after which his entire household came to follow Christ.

My question is, Would this man have sought Jesus if his son hadn’t been dying? Frankly, I doubt it. This was a successful individual who likely thought he had no need of Jesus until his powerlessness was revealed. The man needed God, but it took his son’s illness to make him see it.

This is the way it is for most of us. We think we’re fine on our own, until some life circumstance reveals our powerlessness. When a virus travels around the globe, changing our lives, we realize how fast things can spiral out of our control.

On our own, we have cause to feel insecure. We are not in control. In recognizing our need, we must turn to the one who is. God often uses trials to shape and grow us. In our insecurity and need, we must daily turn to the only one who can provide us with the eternal peace and hope we desperately seek.