I Am Being Fixed Daily
And he cried out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Luke 18:38
I’m often asked if I still struggle with an appetite for pills. I can honestly say that God has transformed me so that today I don’t struggle. Today, I want my faith and recovery more than I want to get high. I know, however, that my selfish, addictive nature is definitely not gone. I still very much struggle with wanting to do things my way. This may not manifest itself in drug use, but I still wrestle with pride, selfishness, lust, gluttony, and greed.
I know that if I simply surrendered to every other self-destructive desire I had, that I’d soon turn from God, go my own way, and that my drug addiction would return. It is only in daily making a genuine effort to abandon me to follow God that I find freedom from my addictive appetites. Daily, I must recognize my sin and need, dragging it before God. When I fail to do so, I suffer the consequences.
In today’s passage, a blind beggar heard that Jesus was passing by. He knew his need and he did what it took to bring it to Jesus. When the crowd tried to silence him, he cried out even louder. Jesus heard his plea and healed him. Had the blind man remained silent, had he not desperately sought Christ, he would have remained in his misery.
The lesson for me, is that I must daily recognize my need and do whatever it takes to drag it to Christ. It is only in making a genuine effort to abandon the old life and follow the new, that I find freedom from my addictions. Some, like the blind man, find instant and permanent healing. Most of us though, even if we find miraculous deliverance from one need, find that we struggle in other areas that aren’t dismissed as easily.
I don’t claim that I’ve been delivered. If I believe I’ve been completely fixed, then I have little further need for God, and I won’t continue to seek him. It is only in continually being honest about my ongoing struggle and need, that I continue to walk by faith, following God daily. When I fail to do this, I hurt myself and those around me. When I live as Christ commanded, I find freedom, despite the struggle. In following him, I am being fixed daily.