Does God Know or Care?
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-30
I recently discovered that a bird has built its nest in the wreath on our front door. I wouldn’t have noticed it, except that I found a dead hatchling on the ground, which set me searching.
In reading today’s passage, I thought of that dead bird, and honestly, my first instinct was to ask, Really? Does God really know or care about the dead bird? The question has implications beyond just the dead bird. The real question is, Does God know and care about my life?
In the profound self-absorption of my addiction, I came to feel that I was alone. I prayed for transformation and when it didn’t come, I felt abandoned. I grew to question God’s interest and existence. Looking back, it’s easy to see that I manufactured my self-pity, but at the time, it seemed real.
At my lowest, I clung to a sliver of belief that God was still interested, and so, I asked him what I must do to feel his presence, experience transformation, and find recovery. He asked that I make a genuine daily effort to abandon my self-destructive nature and to daily turn my life towards him. At that point I had a decision to make. I could give in to my doubts about God or I could act as though I believed in today’s passage.
Honestly, it wasn’t much of a choice. I was desperate and had nowhere else to go. My way led to obvious disaster. So, even though I couldn’t feel it, I began acting as though I believed God cared about my life. Out of that obedience, I grew to feel and experience God’s love for me as I never had previously.
We may feel, because of horrible life circumstances, that God doesn’t care. In today’s passage though, Jesus puts life in perspective, saying that we shouldn’t fear even death. We must look beyond this life to the much greater reality of eternity and we must choose to live, believing that God has everything, through all time, including you, me, and that little bird, in his hands. It’s often only when we abandon our self-absorption, acting in faith, that we come to know God’s love and presence.