My Case Against God

“O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?” Jonah 4:3

In the throes of my addiction, I became angry at God. You created me with this destructive appetite. I’ve begged you to take it from me and you haven’t. Now, my life is an absolute disaster. You did this to me. Refusing to look inward at my responsibility, I felt I had a pretty good case against God.

You can probably see through my faulty thinking, but it made sense at the time. If you’ve ever struggled with any self-destructive appetite, you may understand my frustration. Sometimes it seems that we know better than God and sometimes God seems just plain wrong.

Jonah knew this feeling. After the people of Nineveh repented (in response to Jonah’s preaching), God relented from his plan to overthrow them. Jonah, exasperated, explained to God that this is why he didn’t want to go in the first place. I knew this was going to happen. I knew you would go all soft and wouldn’t smite them like I wanted you to. In his anger, Jonah threw a big-boy tantrum and decided that he just wanted to die.

To this, God said, Really? You truly think you have a case against me? God explained to Jonah that he loved and pitied the people of Nineveh. Though Jonah’s hatred and anger made sense to him at the time, God showed him that he was being ridiculous. Though we may think him unjust or unfair, God is God and sees far beyond our limited perspective.

In blaming God for the consequences of my addiction, I too was being ridiculous. My case against God, like Jonah’s, was more than a little weak and my anger became a barrier between us.  In recovery, I learned that I must daily abandon my self-destructive nature to follow God. He’s God and I’m not.

God can handle our anger, but if we truly want to know the life and joy of living in him, we must submit ourselves to his plan. He’s God and though it may make sense to us, we don’t ever have a case against him.