The Chaos of Addiction
The Lord is my rock and my fortress. . . 2 Samuel 21:2
In my addiction, I found my only comfort and happiness in a pill. The unstable pill of course, was not capable of supporting such a weight. I lost the joy and meaning I previously found my relationships, my job and my faith. My mood was chaotic and as my misery grew, the only peace I found was in another pill.
It is easy to see now how ridiculous it was to attempt to find satisfaction and comfort in a pill. Many of us though, seek our joy and meaning from similarly unstable sources. We try to find what we need from our career, but careers change. We may depend on friends, but friends fail. Our closest family even, cannot bear the burden of what we truly need.
In today’s passage, King David explained exactly where he found his security, comfort and center. In the chaos of his life – and his was chaotic – David found that the only thing he could always depend on was his God. Though he endured horrific loss, David always knew that no matter what happened, he was anchored to a God who could not be moved.
What does this anchor, this rock, do for us? Does following God mean that there will be no storms? Certainly not. What good then, is God, if He does not calm the winds and waves?
It is often only through the wind and waves, that we understand the instability of those things we cling to for meaning. To live life in this flesh is to know chaos and trials. It is often only in the chaos that we turn to God, which is where we were supposed to be all along. It is our own distorted view of our reality that insists that the waters of life must be smooth for us to be happy.
David insisted though, that our joy and meaning are not found in the unstable, but in the rock of God. Only in turning to Him, can we find the joy, security and peace we desperately need.
I cannot know the extent of misery and loss that everyone has known. There are those out there who do understand though. One blog, written by someone who has known the tremendous loss of addiction, is www.portalitythoughts.blogspot.com