Not All Bad
1 Peter 4:10,11 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace… by the strength that God supplies…
I think if I were you, reading my blog, I would get tired of how often I write about our defects. I admittedly, am a little obsessed with the defects of our flesh nature as I feel this is what most distracts us from God, causing most of our destruction. It is possible however, that I can take this too far.
I am sometimes guilty of thinking that I am all failure and flaw. I have at times, been so sick of myself that I have errantly thought that there is nothing salvageable in me for God to use. Before you get too teary-eyed at my self-esteem issue, I must remind you that I am as inconsistent as I am prideful. I can, in a span of seconds, flip from utter humility to consuming pride if someone dares to say all the things about me that I say about myself. Still, at times, I think that every last remnant of Scott needs to be destroyed before I can be useful to God.
This is of course ridiculous. We are not all defect and flaw. Just as our physical flesh has both assets and liabilities, our flesh nature has its defects and gifts. Just as we all have unique fingerprints, we all have unique personalities that make us special and beautiful to God. He may have allowed us to be created with defects, but we are not all defect. God has made us all gifted in unique ways and we all have the capacity for wonderful things.
Many of us fear pursuing God, thinking that we will lose who we are in the process. We worry that God will reduce us to mindless automatons, all looking and acting alike. God however, does not want to destroy all of who I am. He wants to peal back the caked-on layers of dirt and grime so that my gifts can shine through. In following him, I do not lose me. I become the me I was always meant to be.
Peter says that I am to intentionally use my gifts to serve his will. I may refuse to do this, believing I have no gift. My objection to obedience however, usually has more to do with my own laziness and selfishness than it does with my lack of gift. How many opportunities have I missed because I was just unwilling to move from my own selfish plan? How many people in need do I let pass by because I am too busy, focused on self?
Just as I daily have the choice to pursue self or God, I daily have the choice to pursue my own defects or my own gifts. As I am made in the image of God, pursuing God means pursuing the good He has placed in me. When I focus on me, I pursue my defects to destruction. When however, I pursue God, I pursue his gifts in me. In doing so, I become the me that I was created to be.