I Pride Myself On My Humility
James 4:6 God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
The opposite of faith is not disbelief. It is pride. Faith keeps its eyes on God and acts accordingly. Pride says, Sure, I believe in God but I keep my eyes on me and I do what I want. I am not that bad… I am actually quite successful and I just do not need to pursue God as much as those sinners do.
My failures in life, big and small, have not come from disbelief, but rather from following self instead of God. When I choose to follow Scott above all else, that is pride. Pride is the faith killer, as pride says, I’ve got this. I believe in God. I just do not need to follow him. I know best.
The problem with pride of course is that it is blind to itself. I cannot miss this. The most prideful of us will convince ourselves that we do not struggle with pride. Actually, I find myself quite humble… I pride myself on my humility.
It is when I find myself thinking that I really do not struggle with pride (and that I am really quite a humble person) that I am surely blinded by it. When I find myself looking down condescendingly on those unfortunate sinners beneath me, I am in trouble. If I find myself praying, God, I thank you that I am not like other men (Luke 18:11), then I have surely become profoundly ignorant of my own pride problem.
James says that my pride actually puts me in opposition to God. When I go my own way and insist on following self instead of God, I choose to play for the other team. This is how God made the world. When I choose self, I choose to fight God. This is madness. It is a fight I cannot win and which can only lead to destruction and pain.
If however, I humble myself before God, bowing to his will and in faith, follow him, He shows me grace. If I accept what I am, God, be merciful to me, a sinner (Luke 18:13), then I am in right position before God and I will receive his grace, love and mercy.
I can, in my pride, look down on others and refuse to accept my own profound need for God, or I can live in humility before God and others. I can then bask in God’s grace instead of wallowing in opposition to him.